Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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