I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize