Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
