i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
