Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
