Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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