She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
