I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
