Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
