I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
