Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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