who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
