I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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