i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
