That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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