By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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