They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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