May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed