Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend! http://tfl.nu/e3rl
  Replies (50) Good night (3320) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night. http://tfl.nu/12y8
  Replies (9) Good night (6059) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face http://tfl.nu/rg2e
  Replies (29) Good night (3401) Bad night (5237)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar. (1-519): You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make. http://tfl.nu/j6t1
  Replies (12) Good night (10268) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.' http://tfl.nu/i088
  Replies (8) Good night (3073) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice. http://tfl.nu/48r0
  Replies (4) Good night (3481) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once. http://tfl.nu/p9x8
  Replies (0) Good night (1953) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY. http://tfl.nu/5vxl
  Replies (7) Good night (3019) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate. http://tfl.nu/kfhp
  Replies (7) Good night (4221) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names. http://tfl.nu/zaoe
  Replies (4) Good night (2566) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes. http://tfl.nu/j2g5
  Replies (21) Good night (4371) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears. http://tfl.nu/jlvi
  Replies (8) Good night (1750) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on http://tfl.nu/xdbh
  Replies (1) Good night (1243) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants

  (812): View more from Indiana

  That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants (812): That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub. http://tfl.nu/6wmx
  Replies (2) Good night (1221) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this http://tfl.nu/hvu0
  Replies (1) Good night (979) Bad night (378)

Randomize