I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants