I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for