OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
