you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
