I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Fuck appropriateness.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
