Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize
