She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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