I think my vagina is haunted
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
