and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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