He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
