5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
