Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
