there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
