I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
