she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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