who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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