from now on my penis is your penis
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
