I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
