none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Duck Duck Cougar?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
