I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
