I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
