I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
