she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize
