The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
