i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.