everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He kissed a someone with a penis
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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