my vag is so smooth its legendary
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize