Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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