THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
