i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize