I just cut my nipple shaving
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
