i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
