so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
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I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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