Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
