I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
