I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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