This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
