i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
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I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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