I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
