she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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