I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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