She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?