we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!