remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me