party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
