Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
