I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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